(Link)
Description:
"This is a Short Neveah story...less than 3,000 words...
Serephina was born a princess with the weight of her people on her shoulders. She was expected to follow tradition but she wanted something more. Something different. Find out what united her with the Levannah family and learn who her first love was. Experience the magic of Neveah with this short story."
Less than 3,000 words? I'm in. I don't know what this Neveah trilogy is, but from the name it sounds unnecessarily and overthetoppedly fantasy. There's nothing wrong with fantasy, except when there is absolutely no fucking reason for it. I don't know, maybe there is some device in her trilogy that works with the genre but there were literally zero reasons for this short story to be about an elf and for everyone's name to have a thousand fucking H's in it (...Haches? How the fuck do I say that...? Whatever, figure it out yourself). Seriously, her mother's name is fucking Avalon. What? No, you're not even trying.
Anyways, this story is about an elf girl who is peaceful and apparently elves are born fighters (DUH!) and also she probably didn't want to make her a dwarf or something because it's not sexy (so make her a fucking human, dick).
Oh, but oh yeah, so she randomly meets the human king and queen who are magically waiting for her and want her to be their nanny (FATE!) and she falls in love with the...the guy that guards the door or something. Bellhop. Yeah. So THAT'S why she needs to be an elf because if she wasn't then her fucking a human wouldn't be forbidden.
And this is totally the softest of softcore porn because she wants to tell him she loves him (I'm not really skipping anything, there is no character development this is probably a longer explanation than them falling in love) but she stands there contemplating how she is only three feet tall so he won't like her and she wishes her hair was blonde instead of purple and she didn't have such big eyes and huge, full red lips.
Yeah, like I'm not imagining fucking the shit out her right now. Yeah, go ahead, pass it off as clean, but we all know everyone reading your story, man or woman, is thinking about railing the tits off that little elf right now.
Oh and he's all like, "I totally love you too."
THE END
She literally ended the story with a huge ass "The End" like that.
Ratings:
Word Repetition: 5 out of 5. This lady has trouble expressing herself with more than three words rubbed together over and over for each paragraph. It reads like, "His hair was long hair and his hair hung down and covered his blue eyes and she looked at his curly hair covering his blue eyes and thought to herself how much she liked his blue eyes peeking out through his long hair." JUST HAVE SEX ALREADY.
Cause then there will be a reason for you to repeat words over and over? Amirite?
Surprisingly Well Edited: 5 out of 5. The shit was tight. Not much more to say, it was just pretty damn well polished. Actually I caught one mista- NO! I'm not going to be that guy, it was good.
Seriously Like I Know I Already Said This But Why The Fuck Was This Fantasy? 4 out of 5. A 4 because I know I already said it was because of the inter-species taboo thing which we are all pretending we are not turned on by. But, couldn't she just make her some other taboo, like-- Heh, no matter what I say here it's fucked up. Race? No. Disability? No. Family? Okay let's just stop listing things because now instead of saying one fucked up thing I've said three.
Actually, in all seriously, when she saw the queen up on the hill and described her all gorgeous and pregnant and said she was drawn to her I thought it was suddenly going to be a lesbian story. Which honestly would have been better (I mean other than the part where I was like, "ALRIGHT let's do this!") but then there would be like less than zero reasons for it to be fantasy.
Actually, in all seriously, when she saw the queen up on the hill and described her all gorgeous and pregnant and said she was drawn to her I thought it was suddenly going to be a lesbian story. Which honestly would have been better (I mean other than the part where I was like, "ALRIGHT let's do this!") but then there would be like less than zero reasons for it to be fantasy.
Overall: 2.5 out of 5. It wasn't a horribly written story, just pretty bland. And for having inter-species taboo, that's really saying something.
If you want to read about truly titillating taboos, visit amazon.com/author/a.c.blackhall.
Titillating
If you want to read about truly titillating taboos, visit amazon.com/author/a.c.blackhall.
Titillating
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