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Description:
"Sweet Romance with an unexpected ending."
Look at that. Why use a thousand words to describe a two thousand word story? Nice. And get ready for this, because you're not going to believe it. I read this story, and I was all like:
UNCORK THE CHAMPAGNE, I DIDN'T HAVE TO READ COMPLETE SHIT THIS TIME!
So this story is about a self-described spinster, Julia, who one day thinks about her friend who got swept off her feet by Mr. Right and taken away to live a fairy tale life in New York.
Wait, New York is your fantasy? Why in the hell- ohhh you're from South Africa, okay.
Anyway, she thinks about her friend and the awesome life she must have now and decides to get online and find an international man to satisfy her loneliness. She comes back to check her email like two seconds later and BAM! A man from the U.S. wants to meet her. She goes to meet him and they start getting all sexual and then he whips out-
The same line he used on her friend years before. IRONIIIIC!
Ratings:
Wait, New York is your fantasy? Why in the hell- ohhh you're from South Africa, okay.
Anyway, she thinks about her friend and the awesome life she must have now and decides to get online and find an international man to satisfy her loneliness. She comes back to check her email like two seconds later and BAM! A man from the U.S. wants to meet her. She goes to meet him and they start getting all sexual and then he whips out-
The same line he used on her friend years before. IRONIIIIC!
Ratings:
Making Me Realize I'm Obsessive Compulsive: 5 out of 5. Did you know people outside the U.S. sometimes put quotation marks inside punctuation, and it's totally legit to them? Like this: You might say she gave me a "boner". Since "boner" is the thing being quoted and not the whole sentence, British English is all like, "Let's annoy the fuck out of those U.S. dicks." Other than wanting to physically poke those periods back in, I found myself correcting her English all over the place and making corrections like, "Cross that out, you already said that." If everyone could just be polite and use American English without any errors from now on, I would really appreciate it. Otherwise, I will find you and kill you for being an inconsiderate asshole.
Predictability: 5 out of 5. Or maybe I'm just the kid from X-Files. There was a kid that could tell the future on that show, right? Probably. Anyway, as soon as she was thinking about her friend and how they had lost touch I was like, "Obviously she's going to fall in love with the same guy." And guess what, she did. Next time, be kind enough to hide your plot from my genius. It's grotesque to have your plot all hanging out.
Ending That Was ALMOST Perfect: 5 out of 5. So CLOSE. The ending is like this: "He grasped her little pinkie finger and kissed it, and murmured. 'If everything else is as sweet at this little finger, I'm the luckiest man in the world.'" STOP THERE! That's perfect! Suddenly the line you were so jealous was the romantic fantasy every girl wants has taken on a shade of tacky cliche and represents everything that's wrong with the "Happily Ever After" dream. This story is the best commentary of love it can ever b-
Ending That Was ALMOST Perfect: 5 out of 5. So CLOSE. The ending is like this: "He grasped her little pinkie finger and kissed it, and murmured. 'If everything else is as sweet at this little finger, I'm the luckiest man in the world.'" STOP THERE! That's perfect! Suddenly the line you were so jealous was the romantic fantasy every girl wants has taken on a shade of tacky cliche and represents everything that's wrong with the "Happily Ever After" dream. This story is the best commentary of love it can ever b-
"She whispered to him....The 'K' in 'KC' - does that stand for 'Ken'?" NOOOOOOoooo. We KNOW what it stands for, you don't have to treat us like dumbasses! WE GET THE STORY AND IF WE DIDN'T WE COULD JUST TAKE FIVE SECONDS TO READ IT AGAIN! Dammit. Plus your last line totally fucked with grammar in a way that just shattered the whole illusion. LEARN HOW TO USE QUOTE MARKS BRITI- I MEAN SOUTH AFRICAN PEOPLE.
Overall: 4 out of 5. This is the best story I've ever read. And then given a review to on this blog. I've read much better things outside of here. Just sayin'.
If you would like to read another story worthy of this blog, go to amazon.com/author/a.c.blackhall
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