Wicked awesome. Okay, so first let me just tell you that the description for this story is way better than the thing itself. There's more emotion, tension, and food for thought packed into those few lines than any ten pages of this story. Here, read it yourself:
"When Michael Anderson wakes up from cryo at a distant alien star, he has no idea how cold and alone he'd feel. No idea, that is, until his sole mission partner starts to die in the thawing process.
Twenty light-years from the nearest human being, cut off completely from anyone who could help them, Michael must act quickly to save her—but if passing through cryo is like passing through death, what does that mean for those who come out alive?"
Whoa, dude, that's deep shit, amirite? But the whole message is kind of marred by this guy's inability to use commas. They're sprayed all around like so much vomit this story is fixated upon. And I don't want to be a grammar Nazi, but just what the hell is "a ghost wandering an empty derelict"? I just imagine a tiny little ghost lost inside a homeless man's stomach.
I'll get off the commas thing and talk about the story now. It is an incredibly detailed account of two humans thawing out. And by that, I mean this dude seems to have read an extensive technical manual on how to properly thaw meat. He didn't miss a single step! He could out-write a scientist with OCD on Adderall (no offense to those with OCD or addictions to amphetamines, you're just thorough-ass people). I'm not saying it is devoid of emotion, I mean, at one point the main character said, "Oh, no." I was on the edge of my seat!
The dude did have sweet line, mostly because it was exactly what I was thinking. He mentions the color of the lady's frozen nipples (No, that's not exactly what I was thinking about, hold on a fucking second) and at that point I was like, "Really? Dude? You want to go clear your head before you keep writing because you're obviously preoccupied." But then he writes, "I felt as if I were a morbid voyeur staring at a naked corpse." Yes. That's exactly how we feel about you too.
The best shit doesn't come until the end. He makes an attempt to get all deep right at the start when he talks about the semi-non-dreams you have in cryo. He wonders if that's as close as we can get to experiencing "nothing". Well, buddy, you don't have to be a philosophy student to know that no, if you're thinking about something, it obviously isn't NOTHING. Anyway, he has like one line right at the end that compares being cryogenically frozen to death and takes it a step further, and I won't ruin it for you, but that's when the story started to get really good. And then it abruptly ended.
Ratings time!
Commas: 2 out of 5 stars. Nice, commas, bro. Also, could you use less... ellipses? They really break up the flow.
Frozen Corpse Erotica: 5 out of 5 stars. This story had more frozen nipple than literally anything I've ever read.
Philosophy: 2 out of 5 stars. There were some deep questions, but I was left to contemplate them on my own and the answer was always "No." The main character also asked some philosophical questions to which he apparently said, "Meh," and wandered off looking for a Hot Pocket. His strongest emotion was, "Please, no." That's the same reaction I have when someone asks if I want to hear another polka song. When someone is dying right in front of me I tend to be a little more frantic... although polka is pretty unbearable.
Overall: 3 out of 5. Yeah, that's right. This guy isn't terrible at writing, and I have a feeling he has gotten better since this story. And it was on the right track as far as science fiction goes. Although the title is still fucking over the top. From the Ice Incarnate!
As always, please feel free to attack me personally and tear apart my own shitty fiction at amazon.com/author/a.c.blackhall, and I'll see you next week.
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